I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
