pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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