I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
