i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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