no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
