i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
