He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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