I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
