Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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