Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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