You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There's always time for handjobs
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
