i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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