jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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