remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
