I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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