So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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