That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize