In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
