I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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