after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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