One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
