I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
