Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
