Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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