apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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