Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
