i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
