ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bring me that man meat
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
