Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
