i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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