When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
