She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
