he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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