just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
