im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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