Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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