Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
