i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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