If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
