i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
