Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
