If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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