Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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