you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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