it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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