Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
