Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
