His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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