So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize