I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
