i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Congratulations! We have a period
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
