According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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