you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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