I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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