literally had 100 drinks last night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
