Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he told me I talked like a deaf person
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
