roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
