talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
